Nejiten Humour
by Airi and Reika
Summary: ATTENTION NEJITEN LOVERS! Here's a comedic little story by your Favourite authors, Earth Tenshi18 and Availessi37. ENJOY! Warning: At some times, Neji might be a little... OOC. Okay, everyone will be OOC at least once.
1. Chapter 1

Earth Tenshi 18 and Availessi37 take a seat before an audience, including you, the reader.

"Welcome, welcome." Availessi37 pulls out a really weird looking picture book of some sort.

"Glad that all of you are reading this fanfiction." Earth Tenshi 18 pours tea into hers and Availessi37's cups.

"So, without further ado, here's the story of our minds, and, eventually, how Neji became a perv."

"Hope you enjoy!"

* * *

><p>"DON'T STOP, BELIEVING!" Lee tumbled into the training grounds with Gai-sensei singing in one-part harmony. (As harmonious Lee singing Journey could ever sound)<p>

Neji's kaiten slowed, and came to a stop. With a whirl of dark brown hair, he turned towards his green-clad teammate. "Lee, what are you DOING?"

"BEING YOUTHFUL!"

Tenten stepped in all of a sudden, adding in, "No, being a little thing that I'd like to call a BOZO!"

Gai stepped in to the argument. "HOW UN-YOUTHFUL TENTEN, NEJI!"

"We don't care!" Neji snapped at the eccentric jōnin.

Lee weeped behind their sensei, "Gai-sensei said I was good! Ahhhh!"

Gai turned to the pair, seemingly shielding a bawling Lee. "SEE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE?"

Tenten and Neji exchanged a glance. "Yes. Yes we do see what we've done."

Gai suddenly started to sniffle. "It's alright, Lee." They both started to weep, hugging each other.

Neji looked up to the skies. "Oh dear Kami help us."

Tenten muttered to her long-haired teammate. "It's alright Neji."

"But they're sniveling fools! No wonder Gai-sensei's still single!"

She said, quite seriously, "You're single."

*Automatic sweatdrop*

Lee seemed to have recovered, and yelled out, "BURN!"

Neji stood up, and muttered to himself, "Not for long..." and took a glance at Tenten.

He got interrupted by Gai yelling out loud enough for all of Konoha to hear, "YOU JUST GOT POWNED!"

That broke him.

"YOU KNOW WHAT?" Neji grabbed Tenten by the waist, (she was fighting for him to let go, but also fighting back her blush) and ran away from them, quite out of character-ish.

Lee yelled out to the speeding shinobi, "HEY! HOW UNYOUTHFUL, NEJI!"

He got a reply from the distance, "SHUT UP! I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU AND YOUR YOUTH!"

*Insert awkward moment here*

Gai cleared the air. "So... Lee... How was your... weekend?"

Lee perked up. "YOUTHFUUUUUL!"

"MINE TOO!"

In the distance, Neji retaliates, "STOP TALKING ABOUT YOUTH!"

* * *

><p>"Wait, let's move on to what Tenten and Neji are doing." Earth Tenshi 18 says to the audience.<p>

* * *

><p>"WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME ANYWAYS, NEJI?"<p>

A very OOC "heehee" escapes the Hyuuga 's lips.

"LET ME DOWN!"

"Heeheehee."

"LET. ME. DOWN."

"You sure?"

Tenten looked down stubbornly, only to witness about twenty, maybe thirty metres of branches and leaves, and eventually, the dark, uninviting ground. Her eyes widened, "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!" and she, very OOC-erly yelled out, "HOLD ME!" while clutching the young man's arm.

Neji smirked at her reaction. "Hehe."

"Stop smirking!"

He just smirked even wider.

Tenten growled, "...dumbass."

They suddenly fell onto a hill. With a pretty view. Under a sunset.

* * *

><p>"Ahem, Ava?" Earth Tenshi 18 asks.<p>

"Yeah?"

"Overdoing it, aren't you?"

"Who cares?"

"I do."

"Well forget it."

"Fine."

"Now where were we? Oh right! Tenten called Neji a dumbass."

* * *

><p>Neji turned to his female companion. "What'd you say?"<p>

"NICE ASS! You have a... Nice ass?"

Neji gave her a O_o face.

"..."

Tenten gave an embarrassed smile, and a bad poker face.

"Thank you?"

"You-you're welcome."

"..."

"..."

"I know you said dumbass."

Tenten smiled. "Yeah."

"I also know you meant it when you said I had a nice ass."

"Yeeeaaahhh..."

Neji sat there, with Tenten facing him. He thought of a reply. "I think you have... nice buns?"

Now it was Tenten's turn for her fact to go O_o.

"I MEANT HAIR BUNS!"

"Uhh..."

Neji frantically yelled, OOC, "SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY!"

"Uh, thanks?"

"Yeah..."

"I know that you meant my butt."

"Um, yeeeeaaaahhhh..." Insert Neji doing a bad poker face here.

Awkward Silence.

Tenten asked, "So... What are we doing here anyways?"

"Having an awkward moment, duh!"

* * *

><p>"Hold up, did Neji just say 'duh!'?" Availessi37 turned to Earth Tenshi 18.<p>

"Uh, yeah, apparently."

*Face palm*

"You know what, E, let's just, just continue with the story."

"Okay."

* * *

><p>Tenten replied by saying, "Okay."<p>

"..."

"..."

"So how was your weekend?"

"Good, good."

"..."

"..."

Suddenly, they hear their teammate and sensei in the distance, "PARTY ROCK LEE IS IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT! EVERYBODY JUST HAVE A YOUTHFUL TIME!"

Neji and Tenten look at us. "Yeah, um, authors?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we, uh, go?"

"Maybe...not yet. It's fun watching you two have an awkward moment." Earth Tenshi 18 replied to the two bored ninja.

"WHYYYY?" Neji whined.

Us authors simply yell out, "HOW'S ABOUT YOU STOP BREAKING THE THIRD OR FOURTH OR WHATEVER-TH DIMENSION AND CONTINUE!"

"With what?"

"Just... start a conversation!" Availessi37 mutters under her breathe, "Hyuugas."

Neji sighs. "Fine."

"..."

"..."

"Soooooo."

"Soooooo."

"SOOOOO."

"SOOOOO."

They hear Sasuke all of a sudden in the distance screaming out, "SUSANOO!"

Neji acknowledges him with, "UCHIHA!"

"HYUUGA!"

"UCHIHA!"

"HYUUGA!"

"UCHIHA!"

"HYUUGA!"

"UCHIHA!"

"HYUUGA!"

"UCHIHA!"

"HYUUGA!"

"UCHIHA!"

"HYUUGA!"

Itachi comes in, "Uchiha?"

And Hinata adds, "Hyuuga?"

Neji and Sasuke yell out, "STAY OUT OF THIS!"

Sakura seemed to be yelling out at Sasuke, "ARE YOU REALLY DOING THIS NOW, ON OUR FIRST DATE SASUKE? NEJI SHUT IT!"

Sasuke whimpers. "Yes dear."

"THANK YOU SAKURA!"

"YOU'RE WELCOME TENTEN!"

"ARE YOU COMING TO MY HOUSE LATER?"

"CH'YEAH! ARE HINATA AND INO COMING?"

"YEP! BRING YOUR PJS!"

"CHA! SEE YA TONIGHT TENTEN!"

"YEAH!"

Tenten turned to a recently sweatdropped Neji.

Neji asked, "What was that all about?"

"None of your business."

"Okay."

"So what are we gonna do now?"

"I don't know."

"..."

"..."

Availessi37 comes in. "Yeah, excuse me guys?"

"Yeah?"

Both authors suddenly yell out, "JUST GET ON WITH IT ALREADY!"

"Get on with what?"

"..."

"..."

Both Authors sweatdrop.

Nejiten blushes.

Availessi37 takes two Tenten and Neji voodoo dolls and press their lips together. "JUST KISS ALREADY!"

Earth Tenshi 17 facepalms. "Ava, please stop. You're scaring the children."

"Fine."

"Good," Nejiten sighed.

Availessi37 simply says and motions, "Can you just get on with it?"

"..."

"E, where'd they go?"

"Neji? Tenten?" Earth Tenshi18 lets out a dramatic gasp. "OVER THERE!"

They stood behind the tree, and whispered to each other, "Are the crazy people gone?"

"CRAZY?"

"Uhhhh..."

"You're gonna wish you've never said that."

* * *

><p>Earth Tenshi18 says, "So, that was our first chapter."<p>

Big smile from Availessi37. "So see ya next update!"

Reviews would be greatly appreciated!


	2. Chapter 2

"Attention, attention!" Availessi37 clinks a teaspoon against her teacup.

"This is the _second _chapter of Nejiten Humour!" Earth Tenshi 18 grabs the teaspoon from Availessi37.

"I hope you enjoy Nejiten Humour, Part two! Oh! And um, to make it easier, the authors used 'Ava' and 'E' when acknowledging each other in the story, so, read on!"

* * *

><p>Now, children, once upon a time there were two very idiotic people that called two certain authors crazy.<p>

"Oh, sweet sweet revenge..."

Nejiten sweat-dropped, obviously underestimating the power of the writers.

Authors pop up in front of the pair.

Ava yells out, "Super author powers go!"

*Neji poofs into board shorts and a white tank top that leaves Tenten drooling.*

Tenten stared at her teammate, quite stupidly which was very UN-Tenten-like. "Uhhhh..."

Ava smirks. "Wait for it..."

Neji double takes as a mirror appears in front of him, witnessing the writing magic. "What? My hair is... Braided with pink highlights?"

"Really? PINK highlights?" Earth Tenshi 18 muttered to Availessi37.

"What? Blue highlights would just look ridiculous!"

"Oh dear. There goes my sanity."

"MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

E yells out similarly, "Super author powers go!"

*Tenten poofs into a pink mini skirt which she despises*

"WHAT THE HELL?"

Neji O.o-ed and mumbled, "Whooooooaaaaaaaaa..."

Authors maniacally laugh. "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Neji unintentionally yells out to us, "THANK YOU!"

Tenten pondered, "What?"

"..."

"Neji, what is it?"

Authors turn to face Neji. "Well, you're screwed."

"WAIT! DON'T LEAVE ME WIT-"

"Ta-ta!" Ava poofs out.

"See ya!" E poofs out.

"Huh." Neji turned around. "Well I'm ffuckeeedddayaayaaaaa..."

*Tenten starts to dance to "hips don't lie"*

Neji thanks us mentally.

She stretches, and turns to Neji. "That was fun. Hey, Neji? You okay? You got a nosebleed..."

"I, uh, pretty."

"Im'a go, dance, will you be..."

"YES! PLEASE!"

Both authors sweatdrop in the random place where all authors and narrators go when theyre telling stories, while Neji nosebleeds while looking a bit like the pervy sage as Tenten bends down to change the song on a boom box that Ava created, uh, just now. She turns to Neji, and asks, "Hey, are you okay? Have you been working with Jiraya?"

"Tenten, he's dead."

"Yah, I know. But I mean, when he was alive. Or maybe, she turns away with a crazy look in her eyes, "the real secret to the byakugan is that you can talk to ghosts-" she points a finger accusingly at Neji, "-Can you?"

Neji made a face a bit like this; -_-

"Okay, nevermind. But, since when were you such a sexist pervert?"

"It's not my fault! The stupid authors are making me act this way!"

"Hey, it isn't our fault the great Hyuuga Neji has HORMONES," we retorted.

O.o

"Had to be said." Ava bites a cookie.

"Where'd you get that?" E asked.

"We're the authors. We can make anything we want appear or disappear. Like, say, an orange unicorn pegasus that has a mane resembling Neji's hair and with a pink colored chicken that has a butt that looks like Sasuke's hair riding on its back while singing 'I'm sexy and I know it' on a rainbow while eating pie."

Just then, an orang-"Wait, wait, hold up. One, oh cool, then I guess," *poof* E nibbles on a cookie, " that's what I have to do. Two, really? Do you really want that to appear? And three, do you have some milk?"

"Let's just move on."

"Fine."

"Shut. Up."

"KOTOWARU!" E yells out.

"..."

Tenten questions, "Hormones?" then looks down at what she's wearing, then OOC giggled, "Oh so you like my skirt?" She slowly turned her hips to "Promiscuous" by Nelly Furtado.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."

Tenten smirked evilly.

"Uh, you okay there, Neji?" Ava snickers.

"You look kinda drunk." E smirks.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."

"Haha." Tenten laughed mockingly.

Availessi37 smirks. "Oh, we're evil."

"Why yes, yes we are." Earth Tenshi 18 agrees.

"A bit short, but pretty good."

"Chapter 3 will be posted soon, so keep updated!"

*Whispers* "See that button down there? Yeah, it says review on it. Go on, click on it. You know you want to!"

"Unless you don't want us to update ever again..."


	3. Chapter 3

"Hahaha! We come again!" Availessi37 smiles.

"If you did not already notice, I have changed my name. It's now Midnight Firefly." E says.

"But we're **still using Midnight Firefly's old name** in this fic. So, grab a cookie and a glass of milk, and READ ON with the POWER OF YOUTH!"

"What're you high on?"

"PIE!

Tenten started singing along. "Promiscuous boy, you already know, that I'm all yours, what you waiting for?"

"HAHAHA! Neji what ARE you waiting for?" E yells out.

Neji's eyes widened. "Um, some sort of sign, maybe?"

Ava makes a huge billboard saying "JUST KISS THE GIRL" and playing that song from "The Little Mermaid" from the boombox.

"Just kiss the girl..." E sang along.

"Uh... Are you..."

"MEMORIES!"

"You're high too."

"I know."

Neji facepalmed. "Scratch that, some sort of instruction."

E makes a "How to kiss a girl" guide appear in his hands.

"Fine," Neji sighed.

Tenten realized what the authors were doing and inwardly screamed, "I'm actually gonna kiss Hyuuga Neji!"

Neji leaned closer to kiss Tenten when...

"CONGRATS!" Lee comes stampeding towards them, and pulled them into a huge group hug.

Nejiten and the authors all yell in unison, "LEE!"

Gai, while pulling Lee away from the angry couple started talking. "Sorry about that. Lee still has to GRASP the youthfulness of not messing around other peoples' BI-I-IDNEZZ."

Gai looked up at the authors, and asked, "Did I say that right, with enough youthfulness, dear writers?"

E replied making an "okay" sign with her right hand, "Perfect."

Nejiten sweat dropped.

Ava answered, "What? It's not his fault he's so youthful!"

Lee asked, "Hey what about me?"

Ava starts to explain that Lee is youthful and blah blah blah when Tenten whispers in Neji's ear, "Hey, wanna get out of here?"

"Hell yeah." And together they tiptoed towards the forest.

Authors yell out, "Hold it!" and point fingers accusingly at the couple.

Lee and Gai smiled. "You're screwed."

"AGAIN?" Neji facepalms.

"Oh no." Tenten mutters.

Earth Tenshi 18 poofs in. So does Availessi37, holding two hot pies.

"Told ya so." Gai snickered.

"Hey, no one likes a smug sensei." Neji huffed.

Tenten mumbles, "Oh come on! We were so close..."

E asks tauntingly, "So would you like apple, or cherry?"

Neji yells out involuntarily, "APPLE!"

Ava points a finger at her pie, screaming out at the top of her lungs, "RHETORICAL QUESTION! YOU'RE GETTING CHERRY!"

Tenten stuck her tongue out at Neji. "Haha I get apple."

E smirks. "They're both cherry."

"NOOOOO(OOC)OOOOO!"

"Wait up." Ava stops narrating for a moment.

"What?" E asked.

"We don't have apple pie?"

"Well, I can make one appear."

"WITH WHIPPED CREAM ON TOP! AND VANILLA ICE CREAM!"

"Oh dear..."

"So you ready?" Ava asks, spinning her silver platter.

"Who's ever "ready" for a pie in the face trick?" Neji mutters.

"Apparently, you!" E smiled.

"Huh."

"Yeah."

"So we're screwed."

"Basically."

Lee came in, "Hi."

Tenten asks, "Really Lee? Now?"

Ava points to the tree. "Time out, Lee."

"BUT!"

"NO BUTTS! BUTTS ARE FOR TOILETS!"

He pouted but went.

"Now where were we?" E smirked.

SPLAT!

"EWW CHERRY!"

"MUAHAHAHAHA!"

Neji asked, "Whatd I miss?"

SPLAT!

"MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!"

"MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"You guys are crazy." They chided.

"YOU WANT SUMMORE?"

"No, not s'mores!"

"WE WANT PIE!" Lee and Gai jump in.

"An' we ain't gonn' leave till we get some o' dat!" Gai said, talking like some weird teenage girl.

Tenten whispered to Neji, "Now I get why the word 'gay' in French is 'gai'."

"You know french?" Ava asked.

"Our show is dubbed in all sorts of languages; English, French, heck, even Filipino!"

"Hey!" both authors retorted.

"I have an idea." E rummages in her backpack and pulled out some math homework involving pi.

"YOSH! PI!"

"YES! IT IS YOUTHFUL FOR US TO COMPLETE THIS!"

E facepalmed. "Nope. THEY are the ones that are crazy, not us dear Tenten, Neji."

"Well what do you expect?" Ava smirked.

"Good point."

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"YES LEE!"

"I HAVE THE ANSWER TO NUMBER FIVE! WOULD YOU LIKE TO COPY?"

Gai punches Lee.

"WAHHH!"

"I WON'T LEARN ANYTHING LIKE THAT LEE!"

"WAHHH! YES GAI-SENSEI!"

The authors and both Neji and Tenten sweatdropped.

Ava massages her temples. "AI-AI-AI!"

Tenten groans. "I know right?"

"Daily. We have to live with this DAILY." Neji's eye twitched as he spoke, while blow-drying his hair.

"Uh, Neji? Where'd you get that?" E asked him.

"Heh?"

"The blow dryer."

"I dont know, you're the authors."

"Hn."

"HEEEY!"

"You don't like that? HNN! HNNN! HNNNN!" Ava competes.

Sasuke joins in in the distance, "HNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!"

Neji sighs. "Pssht, Amateurs. HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Beat that, Uchiha!"

"HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! THERE HYUUGA!"

Tenten sighed.

"OH YEAH? HNNNNN-"

"DON'T."

Itachi comes along, "HNNNNN-"

"No."

The authors snickered, and Ava yelled out, "And back to the PIE THROWING!"

SPLAT! SPLAT!

"I just washed and blow dried!"

"You could at least change me into my usual clothes!"

Neji yelled, "NO!"

Sasuke and Sakura facepalmed.

"Hey, when'd you get here?" Tenten questioned.

"Just now when the writers made us come here."

"What?"

Sasuke emo-ly said, "Yeah-Hn."

Sakura facepalmed.

Tenten scraped off a bit of pie from her arm and licked it. "Hey guys, this isn't so bad! You want some?"

Sasuke and Neji smirked. "Heeheehee."

"HOLD UP!" Sakura yelled out. She turned to Sasuke, ready to bash in his face. "WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT TENTEN LIKE THAT?"

Sasuke reeled from the sudden jealousy, and a bit of blood dripped from his nose. "Um, well, I-"

"YEAH! SHE'S MY GIRL!" Neji bellowed.

"HEY! First of all Neji, AWWW, and second, I AM NOT A PRIZE TO BE WON!" Tenten started.

Sakura dragged Sasuke away by the ear.

"Uhhhh, what happened?" Neji and Tenten said in unison.

Sasuke screamed in the distance, "DON'T HURT ME!"

"I'M YOUR GIRLFRIEND! YOU WILL NOT HIT ON ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS WHILE I STILL BREATHE!"

Sasuke whimpered. "Yes, hon."

Neji snarkily smiled. "Wow, Uchiha's a man."

"Tell me about it." Tenten smiled. "...I'm yours?"

"..."

E whispers, "Awkward silence leading up to...!"

"You're my teammate."

Tenten sweatdropped.

Authors facepalm. "Uh, guys?"

"Yeah?"

"Get on with it!"

"With what?"

"WITH WHAT WE HIRED YOU TO DO!"

"You don't pay us!"

"Just..." they poof clean, in the same clothes.

They both kind of, stare. At, well, each other.

"Why would they stare at us anyways?" E asked.

"We aren't that much to look at." Ava agreed.

Both authors weep for a moment.

"Uh, are you guys alright?"

"Heh?"

We gave them the Neji face. -_-

Ava snickered. "They both have nosebleeds."

"One, is that even POSSIBLE? And two, are they okay?"

"Honestly? No idea."

Both of their nosebleeds thickened.

"Well."

"Heeheehee.

Neji activated his byakugan.

"HEEHEEHEE!"

"Hey, are you guys high?"

Neji looked at us. "Maybe."

Tenten scoffed. "If I wasn't high, I wouldn't be able to do this." And she walked over to Neji and pressed her lips onto his.

"Okay, FINALLY!" Ava exclaimed.

The dazed Hyuuga snaked his arms around her waist and kissed her back.

E snickered. "Wait till' Lee and Gai hear about this."

Ava snapped her fingers and the world froze.

"This is the part when we say, and they lived happily ever after!"

"But we're not."

"So we're just gonna let them make out. Ta-ta!"

We poofed out of the sunset scene that deserves to be in a movie, and left the couple happy and content.

"YEAH!" Availessi37 yelled. "That was our last update of this story."

"Hope you enjoyed it!"

"Thanks for reading and WFYL!(Write For You Later)!"

"Review, please!"

"WE DO NOT OWN ANYTHING and... NEJITEN FOREVER!" Availessi37 and Earth Tenshi 18 smile.

**THE END**


End file.
